Hoffie

I miss the things pushing me to become better. People who tell me like it is. People who understand that the music world isn’t a guarantee- it is a risk for anyone who takes the leap of faith and makes the decision to become a musician. Where’s that inspiration when I need it most? I have a lot to think about, and one more trip to take before I can make my decision. I hope I’m doing the right thing. So much work to do in so little time, I pray I can make up for two years of lost work. It’s time to step out of the box that is my community and become someone with more confidence, more skill, more drive. I have to do this. I have to do it the right way. But which path shall I take in the future? I’m double majoring for this reason. No one is going to tell me which one is best for me; only I can make that decision when the time comes. 

I don’t know what I’m cut out for. I love music more than anything in the entire world. I cannot picture what my life would be today without it. The people, the places, the feelings. I would never take any of that back.

Lots of thinking to do still. Like I said, one more trip and I can make the decision and take a step in the right direction. <3

DO NOT let your egos inflate,  but I’m proud of how rehearsal went tonight, and you should be, too. Very proud. Our last two rehearsals, as everyone is aware, have not been good. We were not practicing at our full potential. But tonight, tonight was different. After a successful leadership meeting, we started the right way. The pep talks were given to each section, (which I thank the section leaders for doing!) we started basics, and we focused. Our goals were set.

1) Great marching style.
2) Respect one another.
3) Have fun.

 Those were the three main ones, with other small ones set at the meeting. We survived our box drills with the tempo up. Our basics looked so much better than usual, and the focus was there. One goal achieved. one giant step taken. Later on, when we did pregame, I could tell everyone was having the time of their lives. I don’t know about any of you, but I’ve never felt that way conducting the school song. And the crowd wasn’t even there! I felt the energy from everyone like I’ve never felt it before. We were having a blast. Another goal achieved. 

As we were running the show, we did dot book checks and some set cleaning. I saw section leaders helping their section members, and people were marking off their sets. People listened. When a DM’s hands went up, instruments and eyes were up. (There’s still room to work on that, however!) A final goal achieved.

Even though there were a million distractions tonight, (i.e. fittings for hats, uniforms, gloves, dot book checks, learning pregame and learning postgame) work got done. We achieved all of our goals, and we had a great time. Now, our first football game is tomorrow. I’d like to wish everyone a good luck, do your best, focus, and everything will be fine. We can do this. I believe in every single one of you. We are the Marching Sequoits. 

Eyes with pride.

People are way too quick to judge, especially when they don’t know the whole story.

I shouldn’t care. :/

Today is the epitome of beautiful. I couldn’t ask for a more perfect setting to relax in. Barely any homework today, which will give me time to practice. Really sit down and practice. I can never explain properly the feeling I get when I have a beautiful day in combination with playing music. I feel incredibly happy right now. :) Eight days until my birthday, which means I’m getting several music books, seeing family, going to Chicago, getting my license, having fun, and being sixteen. Woo! To top it all off, I have All State next weekend, as well, which will just be loads of fun. 

Playing music. Mm. <3

“The sun is up, the sky is blue. It’s beautiful, and so are you.”

Greet the brand new day.

I’m happy. Very happy.
“Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Motivated again, seeing some old friends again, playing again, being myself again.
Fun night last night, glad I saw Brooke, too! :D

To Jordan Jones-
Your compliments make me feel like a million dollars. I’m always here for you and you know that. <3

To Brooke Wallace-
I’m sad you’re leaving, but I’m so grateful we got closer this year. You’re like the older sister I never had, but I’ll save the rest for your goodbye card. :)

To Alex Torres-
I miss you. A lot. You know the rest!

To Steven Evens-
Please please pleeeease move to IL. You’re amazing. My parents already like you.. No joke. 

Anyways. Yeah. Pretty darn happy. Off to shower, play, and work.

“The first day of school was a blur. A stressful, surreal blur.” -Mean Girls

Replace day with week and you have the very first bit of my junior year! Not to say that I’m not excited- homecoming is in two months, marching band season is here, we get to go to prom, and hey, we’re upperclassmen, now. I can honestly say that I’m pretty pumped for the beginning of the school year and the end, which always seem like the best parts.

I’ll be completely honest, though. This first week kicked my butt out of summer mode and gave me an enormous reality check. Going from staying up until sunrise to waking up while it’s still dark is still something I must get used to. And it’s not just getting up early, it’s a few of the classes. My teachers are all great, but the workload is intense. AP Bio with Anderson is difficult and gives a large amount of homework, AP US with Murray is reasonable and he makes it a fun time, Pre-Calc Honors with Zambole is fun, (I’m still not “good” at math, but Zambole has a great way of teaching!) English hasn’t had anything remotely interesting happen yet,

and then there’s Advanced Wind Ensemble and AP Music Theory.

Mr. Riggs has been holding his own; I give him cred. Don’t get me wrong, Hayes was awesome, but his inner Cavie shone through the entire year, and it was difficult to understand until we started AWE with Riggs. His conducting is beautiful, to say the absolute least. And there’s theory. I’m in love. :) We’ve barely done anything after the first week, but just the fact that we’re analyzing music, music that I listen to on a regular basis, (that almost no one else my age listens to) makes me feel right at home. It’s phenomenal.

But now I’m contemplating my next move as a musician. It’s been troubling me for many months now. We’re currently in our marching season with concert band underway. I’m participating in All State. Sporadically going to lessons. IMEA is in two months. I need to get myself into gear. I need to keep the drive. I’m still not sure of my next move, but I’m working on it. Things are going to be different this year. I feel a sense of determination, and it may be because my parents are pushing for me to take everything to the next level to prepare for college. I know they want me to succeed and be happy, so I’ll do my best to make them proud. This weekend will be full of intense practicing, homework, and most importantly, sleep.

Proud of all of you. I don’t know how many of you actually read this, but seriously. The energy and enthusiasm is getting better. I can feel a good season coming.

Just don’t forget to smile. :)

Said goodbye to my best friend tonight before he leaves for U of I. I know he doesn’t want to leave, but I’m happy he’ll be getting out of here. We’ve had our highs and lows together, particularly this summer, but it’s reassuring to know I’ll always have him around. He’s moving on to bigger and better things, and I know he’s going to be someone famous someday… Probably beating everyone out on Jeopardy with his crazy amount of useless trivia knowledge. I love him dearly, wish him the best, and I’m so proud of everything he’s done. <3

Promises broken, lies told, secrets shared, forgetting it all.

Goodbye.

I have so much and so little, and none of it makes sense.

I spent the night seeing some of my best friends for the last time before they leave for college. We sat around the fire, sang songs, laughed, cried, and I feel terrible and amazing all at the same time. This is one of the hardest good-byes I’ve ever had to say. It’s not just one, not two, but several good-byes, final hugs, (at least for a while) etc. 

Some of them, I’ve known since the sixth grade. Senior Band with Bushman. New York City. All of it now a distant memory. I knew it wouldn’t last forever, but it never hit me. Not like it did tonight, when I realized this was the last time we’ll all be together for a while. And I’m only a junior, but I feel like I should be leaving with the rest of them for some reason. Some of these people get me like no one else does - they’ve known me forever, stayed in band, and they’ve been there for everything. I don’t even know how to explain it.

:( Sad night. Not a good way to end my day… I hate good-byes.

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Things happen for a reason.
Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard it all before.

Often in movies in which time travel is possible, a protagonist uses the time machine to go into the past to try and alter the future. The protagonist does as he/she wishes, traveling to the past and does what they ultimately feel is going to change everything instantly. However, while waiting for that instantaneous change, it hits them. What was going to happen, was going to happen. It was inevitable. You can’t change the past to change the future. You can only work on the present. 

I guess this is what I’m facing right now. The image that some have of me right now is blurred. I’m not who they think I am. I have morals that I have stuck by for my entire life; I’ve made mistakes along the way, lost friends, gained friends, broke a heart, got my heart broken, and it’s all part of life. It’s all a learning process in which the most difficult of situations is thrown at us to see how we handle them. How we decide to handle these situations is the true test of our character. I may have lost one of these character “battles,” but I’m winning the war. Little mistakes have gotten me into something much bigger than I ever would have thought, but I’m doing everything in my power to make things right. It probably won’t end up in my favor, and I will probably be unhappy regardless of the results, but the goal is to fix what I’ve broken and start anew with the right attitude and people to go along with it. 

I’m taking a step back, looking down on all of this, and going from there. A different perspective on things helps a lot. I honestly do not know what I’d do without my friends who I can talk/cry to at any time of night and I know they’re there (i.e. Brooke, Amanda, DJ, Jordan) to be there for me. My gratitude is unprecedented. As much as I’d love to keep ranting, it’s 2am and I’m running on four hours of sleep. Goodnight, everyone. <3

After a total of 15 1/2 hours with the All State pit, crew, cast, and staff, I’m terribly excited and motivated. The talent level is incredible, the energy is high, the jokes are hilarious, and we’re all pumped up about doing Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods. Our director, Bernie Gerstmayr, is hilarious but motivational and constantly talks highly of the pit. The cast is crazy, the crew is fantastic, and I absolutely love being a part of the pit. After seven hours of rehearsal the book is almost finished. The first day was a lot of getting to know people and our personal sections, and today we did some team building with an intense game of scavenger hunt (GO TEAM AWESOME A!) and then we had a small pep talk and went home. 

For the next five and a half months, once a month, this will be what I look forward to on the weekends. See everyone in two weeks. :)

<3

I had a wonderful day at All State.

And now this crap is coming up again. I’M SO DONE WITH THIS.

After a total of two weeks out of our summer with water breaks, learning how to roll-step, reading drill charts, not understanding drill charts, working on dot books, popsicles, Rig-a-lig’s sarcasm, “AND DENNNN,” comments, crazy drum majors, hitting sets, pressure cooker, JAZZERCISE!, running to our sets, new (and improved) backwards march, buying change points, “ROO!”, ridiculous skits, big loud and live, running into the drum majors as if they’re field judges, Stolfyoma running rehearsals, memory tests for the video camera, to the ready position, super loud block hitting backfield, spirit days (section colors, school spirit, tye-dye, “how are your feet?” chant, hey joe, ninja, and so many other things that band camp wouldn’t be band camp without!

Ultimately, I’m incredibly proud of the band. We started out the week with barely any drill learned, a not-so-up-to-par marching style, and semi-enthusiastic attitudes. We ended the week with half our show learned, maxed out style, and attitudes that could put our old band to shame. But, here’s the trick- we have to keep it up all season long! We have six home games, five competitions, and only so many practices in between to work our way up to the top notch finals: state at ISU. We can do this. We’re placing this year. The season is still young.

Let’s do this.

(I feel bad I haven’t been keeping up with this.. crap.)

Day10 Songs you listen to when you’re happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad, etc.

Happy
The happy music changes from time to time; my taste varies. On and On and On by Streetlight Manifesto, anything Jason Mraz, French flute music, the list goes on.

Sad
Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber, Is It Real by The Seatbelts, Details in the Fabric by Jason Mraz

Mad
Coheed & Cambria <3

Day11 Another picture of you and your friends. (Stealing this from DJ- sorry!) 

Jordan, Stolfe, DJ, Me! :)

Day12 How you found about Tumblr and why you made one?

Ever since I was old enough to use a computer, my brothers have taught me everything I know concerning technology. My oldest brother, Anthony, told me about Tumblr and I became instantly addicted, and continue to rant about it constantly to everyone around me. :) 

First movement is on the field, everyone. We’ve done it! A shout out to the drumline- (if any oef you guys read this) days like today make me feel incredibly proud to be your drum major. You guys stepped it up a TON today, attitudes were much higher, and you earned those stickers. ;) Overall, the band’s attitude improved on the day that is supposed to be the hardest. Keep up the good work until the rest of camp and we’ll be golden.

You’re amazing. <3

I LOVE BAND
DAY TWO OF BAND CAMP = SUCCESS 

Well, for the most part.

We started out the morning with jazzercise- the band absolutely loves it (which, of course, makes me incredibly happy and pumped up in the morning) drill was going well, but we MUST keep in mind that we have to keep our spirits up. I know that drill can be frustrating, especially with very few run throughs of the sets that get “fuzzy” after a long afternoon in the heat, but we have to hang in there! (THINK OF THE STICKERS!!!) However, the attitude (of most) is improving, and I’m proud of all of you. We have to stick it out through the rest of camp like I know we can and everything is going to be just fine. I’m proud of each and every one of you! :)

I don’t know what I would do without our wonderful band. Being in front of them makes me forget everything. I feel important there. I’m always doing SOMETHING and it feels great. :) We have a blast together, and the intensity was SO MUCH MORE IMPROVED today. We must replicate the attitude/productivity we had today during the second half of camp and our season will be great. Jazzercise was a blast, too. ;)

That’s that.

Jordan&DJ<3<3<3, don’t know what I’d do without you.

Skyping with Steven Evens makes my weeks worthwhile. :)

The famous quote of summer (but mainly last night), “Six calls… That’s a new record!” Had the time of my life with friends last night. The adrenaline rocked and I had a wonderful time. I needed it. Good sleepover with Joe and Sarah again. I love my friends. I’m so grateful for them. Got my school supplies, not able to go shopping but got new clothes from Sarah, so that’s good. Now I MUST do my summer assignment as soon as I finish the book. Lots of reading to do. Maybe I’ll go outside. It’s nice out! Band camp tomorrow and All State on Saturday, then school.

Let’s do this. ;)

Well I don’t mind if you don’t mind, ‘cause I don’t shine if you don’t shine. Before you jump, tell me what you find. Can you read my mind? -TheKillers<3 

Something you’re proud of in the past few days.

I’m working on getting rid of my “demons,” as I’d like to say it. Whether it be the idea that our band will not improve, my procrastination, or even a person, I’m cleaning out my life slowly but surely and it all begins now.

Short term goals for this month and why.

-Summer assignment that I’m almost positive I’ll never finish.
-Practicing, whether it be flute, piano, or sax, I gotta be consistent about it.
-Get the drill done for the first football game! Go marching band! :D
-Successfully wake up early for zero hour gym. Ohhhh boy.
-BE HAPPY, OR ELSE. ;)

<3 

Let’s face it, I told you I didn’t want you in my life anymore and as much as I want to mean it, I can’t find it in me to. But I’ll never tell you, and you’ll never know because you don’t ever care enough to read these things. Two more days of schoolwork and practicing and then band camp where I can feel useful again. <3 Thank goodness.

A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you-

Earl Bush- The best band director I will ever have the pleasure of having. This man has taught me everything, from all of my major scales, to showing us middle school students that we weren’t just middle school kids, that discipline in a band takes us a long way, (3rd place in the NYC St. Patty’s Day Parade) and to never settle for mediocrity. I love and miss this man so very much, and he’s had the most impact in my life out of anyone that I’ve ever met. <3

Night is my favorite and least favorite time. Its’ calm and beauty make me feel crazy and alive, (it’s contradicting, I know) but the thoughts that seep into my brain scare me away from the world.

It’s bittersweet, really. One door closes and another opens. I have to stay positive and get through this because there is no other option. A part of me wants to hang on, and the other part is dying to let go and free myself of this never ending pain. 

I need to clean my room, sleep, wake up, and play first thing in the morning. <3

The Things That Bother Me
-the lie I told myself for the past ten months
-my lack of improvement playing flute
-my constant procrastination with my school english project
-most likely not seeing three wonderful people this weekend 

The Things That Make Me Smile
-Sims 3
-being outside in the sun on beautiful days like today, playing volleyball with my family, anything outside and being active in the summer
-real friends that are always there and help me through anything and everything
-over easy eggs with fried rice that my brother makes
- Jordan Jones- the fact that I can call you at 4am crying and know that you’ll talk me through how I’m feeling amazes me. <3 <3 <3
“I wish my name was Ria, so we could be Alex-and-Ria.” 
-feeling the emotion in my playing and having faith in it
-band camp starting monday! week two, baby. for all those kids that know me- LET’S DO THIS. ;) 

I can’t take this anymore. It’s gotten way out of hand this time.

I’m done. Forget this, and forget you.

Favorite super hero and why.

Aw, hell yeah.

Link, from The Legend of Zelda videogames. He’s a hero, fa sho. Oh, and if you haven’t played these games, your life is missing a very important piece of media. Just saying. <3

A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.

The Grant Park Symphony Orchestra is the shit. <3

A habit that you wish you didn’t have.

A picture of you and your friends.

Paige, Kelsey, Me
The Three Musketeers
I had the fortune of meeting these two lovely ladies last year at my home, the Drum Major Academy at ISU. Although I didn’t know them very well last year, they both greeted me at the check-in this year with smiling faces and welcoming arms. Before I knew it, the three of us were inseparable. I love these two more than words can describe, and I miss them terribly. <3 

The meaning behind your Tumblr name?

Well, to tell ya the truth, when I was a lot younger (elementary school), I had a gym teacher named Mr. Amster. On my last day of fifth grade, (the last day of elementary school) he said, “Bye, Hoffie! It was nice to know you!” Then, in seventh grade, when I was in track, my track coach called me Hoffie when I was doing long jump. I’ve always liked the nickname, which in case you didn’t know, was a play off of my last name, Hoffman. I respond to it, and actually prefer when people call me that, because Alex is incredibly common, there’s four people named Alex in marching band, and Alexandria is a long name.

<3

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Most recent that I could find. One of my brothers (CJ) and I.
Um, interesting facts? I’ll try and find some that people don’t know already.

1. When on the phone with people, I pace, clean my room, and often notice how cluttered my room is. I also talk a lot.

2. My MacBook is three years old, and it’s my baby.

3. My flute’s name is Simcha, which is Hebrew for “Joy.”

4. Although I’m somewhat self-conscious about how I look, I often wish wearing less clothing was socially acceptable. (i.e. sports bras at band camp, esp. when it’s hot out)

5. I’m mostly scared of losing touch with people, thunderstorms, and spiders.

6. My iTunes library currently has exactly 6100 items, and the library is ever growing.

7. I would love to have a job so I can buy more sheet music/music books/anything music, but I don’t have a license or a flexible enough place that would accept me not working for a week at a time.

8. I’ve never been out of the country, but would love to travel, since I absolutely love meeting new people. 

9. I miss my old director, Mr. Hayes. It took me finding out he was going to be leaving to realize that he believed in me more than almost anyone else in my life. I’m determined to work with him again someday, somehow, someway.

10. I’ve always longed to write music, to be able to express my feelings through notes on a page, but I lack the patience.

11. I love reading, but when it comes to reading for school, it just doesn’t feel the same no matter how good the book is.

12. I’ve always wanted to be in choir. I’m not a great singer, but love singing, and my ear for harmonies isn’t too shabby!

13. I’m a sucker for cheesy things. Flowers, cute notes, the little stuff. <3

14. It takes a lot for me to fall. But when I do, I fall hard.

15. I want to be will be a famous musician someday. 15 minutes of fame doesn’t feel like enough for my dreams ;)

“She called out a warning, ‘don’t let life pass you by.’”

I’m just praying my best is good enough. I’m doing everything I can. Please. Let us all pull through. I need all the help I can get.

Finally successfully practiced today… It was wonderful.

Awesome day at Six Flags with Jordan, Jenna, and Mike.
So proud of Jordan <3 <3 <3 <3 Just remember, I always have your back and I love knowing that you’re always there for me. Seriously. I can’t thank you enough, babe!

SO EXCITED TO SEE DMA KIDS IN JUST A WEEK. HOLY CRAP. I’LL BE IN HEAVEN AGAIN. AHHHHHH

Things are turning around. Let’s do this. 

I’ll find someone who surprises me by proving the stereotypes wrong and being decent. And I’ll feel loved again. Eh. I even doubt that at times.

I love not being able to sleep because I got yelled at. Great day, up until an hour ago.
Six Flags in the morn’ with Jordan and frands. <3 Don’t know what I’d do without that kid this summer.

I love the band with my whole heart and soul. I’ll do anything for it.
Our first ska show is on Friday. I’m nervous.
I’m tired and refuse to sleep because I love seeing the sun.
While showering I got soap in my eye and now it burns.
I have to wake up at a decent hour to write music and practice the written music. 
Brooke Wallace, Izabel Zambrzycki, and Scott Brooke are awesome.

Steven Evens - 

Read my Facebook. Call me. Hahaha, that is all.

Hoffie

Chillax. Take a deep breath, marching band members on Tumblr. It’s going to all be okay. Believe it or not, our attitudes are improving from last year a ton. Just because they’re not where some of us want it to be doesn’t mean that it’s not a starting point. May I remind you, we have a whole week of camp left! Our whole August camp has yet to happen, and I’m not making excuses. My point is that we will be much more organized for the second week, we have things mapped out in a perfect plan, making for a more enjoyable but productive camp. And we must not blame it on one section. We are all one band.

One band, one sound.

Whether you’re a pit member, clarinet player, piccolo player, or drum major, we are a unit. We work together to make one sound. One sound that will earn us those first places in competitions. One sound to make our school proud. One sound that we can remember for the rest of our lives. One sound that makes us look back on high school and tell everyone that band was our escape, one of the best experiences of our lives, because nothing in the world is better than being a part of a unified band. 

So hang in there, Marching Sequoits. We got this in the bag. Keep up the positive attitudes, be encouraging, pump people up, and I know we can make the rest of the season great. Let’s do this. Together.