the life I hope to lead
I have been apart of the Lakes Area Community Band since my freshman year. Last semester they featured me as a soloist on our director’s own arrangement of Monti’s “Csardas.” The Community Band and Swing Band have both been impressed with my playing and extremely helpful, financially and educationally, in my music education. A few months ago, Bob Beutel, a member of LACB, asked me if I wanted to be a featured soloist with the Waukegen Symphony. Today I was a featured soloist in their “Youth Concert” conducted by Stephen Blackwelder, performing Movement I of the Mozart Concerto in D, K314. I was one of two soloists. The other was a 13-year-old home schooled girl named Adé who played the violin and performed the Thaîs Meditation. She was phenomenal, to say the least. I hope that I will see her name in the program of a big name orchestra someday. I have a feeling that I will. I’ve learned that music always surprises me with how it makes me feel. Just when I’m holding on for dear life, when I think trying is pointless and I have no reason to go on, music wraps itself around me, makes me feel loved, and instills in me the will to live, the will to do something amazing with my life. What I felt today was extraordinary. I don’t know what could have felt better. Right when I arrived, I felt like a celebrity. I felt important. Maestro Blackwelder told me that i could go in my dressing room and relax when I got there. Okay, so maybe this sounds childish, but I just about freaked out when I found out Adé and I had our own dressing room.
I was nervous from the start. My knees were shaking just thinking about going out there and being on my own. But something clicked when the maestro introduced me to the crowd. He interviewed me in front of the audience, and I received applause when I told the orchestra and the crowd how involved I was in music and school. It wasn’t a big crowd by any means, but it was an appreciative one. The orchestra did an amazing job with my piece. I almost nailed the performance perfectly. The mistakes didn’t matter; everything still felt right. When the song ended, I took a long bow and walked offstage. The maestro told me to go back on stage and take a solo bow. After the last bow I took, the orchestra gave me a beautiful bouquet of flowers. (They are now in my room.) Since it was a youth concert, all of the guests that attended the concert (many children were there) were invited to come on stage when the concert was over, meet the performers, and take pictures with them. It was highly interactive. Kids and parents left and right congratulated Adé and I and took pictures with us. We felt like royalty. People told me I was a beautiful player, that i played with poise without being pompous. They asked me to learn the other two movements of the concerto, possibly be a regular soloist with them, and come back next year. The compliments rained on the Adé and I from everyone around us. The attention was astounding. My grandpa, uncle, mom, oldest brother, sister, wonderful friend from DMA, private teacher, director, and woodwind director were all there to support me.
I am continuing to have performances and moments where I tell myself that this is what I must do for the rest of my life. Perform. It makes me question my interest in Music Education. I will teach someday. I know that. But getting a performance gig out of college would be it for me. My life would be made. I can only hope that I will continue to have experiences like today, where everything feels right and I am praised and thanked for doing exactly what makes me happiest. It is pure bliss. It is happiness. It is music, and I never want to let it go. <3
